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“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into canned food and shotguns.” That bit of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, articulate, bespectacled member of the slimy Gremlin horde that infests Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s nothing more than an financial suggestion from one monster to another. But, oddly enough, it’s also surprisingly sturdy life advice. Seriously, listen to my reasoning.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the most counterproductive action you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. Actually, most of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (debateably his greatest) possess the same wry, meta sense of humour regarding the blurry line separating everyday life and pure pandemonium. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and the older I get, it’s the message that resonates the most.

An Early Life Fascination

Naturally, my attachment to this movie didn’t start on such an introspective level. As a child, we only had a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve likely purchased from an off-brand video shop and sporting growling monsters on its worn-out artwork. I was right away smitten and these films wasted no time embedding themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. After that point, they became an practically routine part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s original commonly garners all the praise, thanks largely to its legacy as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. Nevertheless, its sequel rarely gets the same level of elevated esteem, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d seclude myself indoors and stick it on. When I got my own TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. Gradually, it became deeply rooted in my psyche. If my parents observed this fixation, they gave no indication of concern.

Deeper Discoveries and Societal Nuggets

As I got older, new insights enriched multiple watches, amplifying the pleasure of watching little green monsters happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his actual-world equivalent.

The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was inspired by a real-life “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film alternate cuts of a self-aware scene where Gremlins seize control of the exact movie you are viewing. A version for theaters, one for VHS and TV, each offering a winking bit of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy before the term was even a thing.

A Persistent Appeal

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that caught my eye as a child, this subsurface richness kept me hooked as an adult. Ultimately, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no qualms informing me he made the movie with the direct intention of mocking those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This Looney Tunes-esque insubordination and commitment to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only increased my affection for it.

When I experienced a unexpected loss in the family recently, I was surprised to find that, during my heightest mourning, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Maybe not. The nostalgic calm it offered was necessary to thin out my mind’s sadness sludge – but the insights it had bestowed upon me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just are powerless over. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: welcome the pandemonium, invest all your resources into preserved goods and firearms and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a very unlikely source – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my go-to cinematic solace.